Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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