You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
