Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just had sex bonerless
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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