just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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