their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
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I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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