Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
