dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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