i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize