You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
