She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
