People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
