woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
