She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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