Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
