Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
