I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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