I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
