Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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