This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
