You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
