He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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