i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.