hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
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I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?