I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to