I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?