Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
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Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.