I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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