...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i barfeds in our rink
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
