Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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