its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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