can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
