I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
