Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
