My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
