sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
