You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
