life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
