Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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