You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
