Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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