i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
