i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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