My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
