Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize