But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
