Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
