We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
