He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize