I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
