So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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