these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
