that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
