so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
this hospital has no fireball
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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