I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just had sex on a roof
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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