Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
