We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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