Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
