am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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