is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
