he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
