TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
