I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
