hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so let's talk penis.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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