haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
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I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
In America we eat man semen.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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