I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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