I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
