I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
