just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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