And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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