I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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