Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
