Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
